My baby starts crying when I try to put her in the carrier. Does this mean she doesn’t like babywea

Sometimes despite your desire/need to babywear, your baby might be sending you signals that make it clear that she is not enjoying it. But fear not… this doesn’t necessarily mean that your baby doesn’t like being ‘worn’ and won’t ever settle into a carrier happy and content.

Here are a few tips you could try.

• To give yourself an easier start with babywearing try it when baby is happy and content. Often an ideal time is after baby has been fed and has a clean nappy and is not feeling tired. Start out using the carrier for short periods and build up the time as baby gets used to it. This can help baby to start associating your carrier with ‘happy snuggle time’!

Sometimes people try to start babywearing when bubs is already tired/hungry/uncomfy and starting to lose the plot.In this case often the baby will not settle and may become quite bothered.Listen to your baby and your own parenting instincts.It might pay to try another time when baby is more ready and willing.

• Go slow. Some babies find transitions unsettling. Each time you move them they may become upset. It can help to be very slow and deliberate when transitioning baby into your carrier. You could pick her up and cuddle her on your shoulder (in burp position), taking a moment to ensure she’s happy and then slowly slide her down into your carrier with just her knees in position. Then take another moment to gently rock/sway without making any more adjustments to the carrier for a few minutes. Now can be a good time to check baby’s position and encourage her body to adopt its natural position with the fetal tuck of the knees and legs and a nice gentle curve to her spine. Checking that her spine is nicely aligned with her head and her pelvis. It’s much easier to adjust and find a comfy position for baby now before the carrier has been completely adjusted and tightened. Once bubs is settled, then you can pull up the rest of the carrier parts and adjust to ensure it’s all secure. The aim is for the carrier to work around baby providing support for their natural shape and development stage.

• Readjust positioning. Sometimes babies wriggle around a fair bit in their carrier too. It can happen that they wriggle themselves into a position that is not comfortable after a while. It can help to check how baby is sitting in the carrier and if needed support baby’s head and lean slightly forward to make it easier to move her body into a more comfortable ergonomic position. If baby wriggles again you may need to repeat this process. But sometimes babies don’t want to be in the ‘correct’ position. So don’t be worried if she pushes her legs straight or twists her head around a bit. Once baby is asleep you will be able to adjust her positioning and she will be more likely to stay that way whilst sleeping.

• Exude confidence. Babies pick up on your physical cues like sponges! So if you are feeling anxious, nervous or like you have no idea what you’re doing, then your baby will notice this and can become unsettled and unhappy. To avoid this, it helps to practice with your carrier before you try with your baby. Grab a teddy bear and practice loading it in and out of your carrier so that you can build your confidence and feel like you know what you’re doing. When you are feeling ready and prepared, it can boost the positive energy your baby senses when you pop her in your carrier. This helps her feel relaxed and safe to settle into babywearing.

• Try movement. Some babies really enjoy the soothing action of gentle repetitive motion. Put simply this means that if you stop moving or try to sit down baby wakes/stirs/becomes grizzly or upset. So if you go for a short walk or gently bounce while sitting on a swiss ball (ensuring you keep your balance) your baby may be more willing and content to stay in your carrier. Noise can be another soothing tactic too – making vacuuming (with noise & moving) a winning combo!

Troubleshooting.

There are a few other things you could also consider that might be reasons why a baby is having trouble settling into babywearing.

• Check your baby’s comfort.

• Babies tend to like having their hands up near their face to allow for exploration and self-soothing.

• Ensure the carrier is supporting your baby’s natural body position. Gently curved spine with a nice pelvic tuck, and hips in a developmentally appropriate position not too overspread (approximately your baby’s hip width apart for a newborn) with support under baby’s full base, i.e knee to knee support.

• The feel of the fabric. Check to make sure there are no rough or scratchy parts on the carrier (buckles, labels or tags etc) or any sections that are ‘digging in’. Also check your baby’s clothing. If she is wearing any type of footed pants, make sure there is still plenty of toe room. They can ride up and put pressure on their feet sometimes activating their plantar reflex making them want to ‘stand up’ in the carrier. You could consider using the next size up if you want more wiggle room in the foot section of her pants. Also check that baby’s clothes haven’t become bunched up anywhere. This could restrict blood flow and be very uncomfortable.

• Temperature. Is baby too hot or cold? In hot weather you could have baby in only a short sleeved bodysuit and nappy. It pays to remember that your carrier counts as an extra layer of clothing. By contrast, in winter you may wish to add extra layers to baby’s extremities. Think – mittens/leg warmers/wooly socks and beanie etc. You could also wear a babywearing jacket over both of you to help keep little legs and arms warm.

• Try another position. The most commonly chosen position for babywearing is the chest to chest (tummy to tummy) position. However not all babies are a fan of this. Think of how you tend to hold your baby in your arms normally. How do they like to be held? Some babies prefer to be ‘seated sideways’ for example. There are several other positioning options you could experiment with to find a way that your baby safely enjoys.

• Test out other carrier options. Of course we expect and understand that parents all have their own preferences when it comes to which carrier works best for them, but we also need to consider that babies may also have their own preferences too. If you’ve persevered with your carry and are still having no joy, maybe it’s time to get in touch with your local sling library/babywearing group or consultant to experiment with other types of carriers or to learn a different wrap method (changing from front wrap cross carry to kangaroo for example) to see if baby prefers something different to what you’ve been using. This doesn’t mean you’ve wasted money on your carrier, it might just mean that for now it’s not happening, but babies go through phases quickly and you might find that soon enough she will happily settle/grow into liking the old carrier.

So that’s a few things that you may want to consider before thinking ‘argh my baby hates babywearing’. Have a think about your unique circumstances. Babywearing is about a relationship between you and your baby. You are the expert on your baby so trust your gut. If you have an inkling as to why your baby is not ‘feeling the love’ for babywearing then look into that area to see what you could change. Of course there will be times when babywearing won’t be the right answer for your baby’s needs at that particular time. But I definitely recommend persevering in general to find a way that suits you both. Babywearing is such a handy tool and I have yet to meet a baby who truly does not like to be snuggled up close to a loving caregiver in a comfortable carrier.